The Control Enthusiast

an old one, for n.

fingers lift your hair
the white-buckled band closes
eyes close, and lips part

This past Saturday myself and LadyM met up at 10:30 in the morning (unusual for a weekend, for me – I hoard my sleeping-in time voraciously) at a nameless coffee shop downtown and proceeded to spend most of the day upstairs at Northbound Leather listening to the wonderful Midori talk about kink and sex and other such delightful things. The workshops were organized by Lord Morpheous and I just happened upon them while I was on his site looking through his photography portfolio. I’d never met him – and unfortunately didn’t get a chance to introduce myself at the workshop – but I’d seen him perform at the Toronto Erotic Arts Festival’s Erotic Blender.
The morning session was specifically about simple and direct Bondage for Sex. Pretty much all with scarves & ripped-up bedsheets. It was very fun to watch (Midori’s demo model was very engaging) and as always Midori is a great presenter. The main ideas were mostly similar to modular rope bondage, but the scarves are a lot more innocuous, easier to travel with and FAR cheaper to get lots of. I brought four of the pashmina that I’d purchased last time I was in China. I’m actually looking forward to using them more. Morpheous was also kind enough to purchase everyone two 5′ lengths of bamboo for use in the class and as a memento of the workshop. It was the first time I’d used those as well. I can see why they’re so popular, and plan on using them a lot more as well.
The afternoon was more interesting for me. It was a re-examination of a lot of the terms we Licorice* folk tend to use. It made me realize how entrenched certain definitions had been in my own head. Sadist. Dominant. Submissive. Masochist. And where those actually sit within me. She laid out a three by three grid: control along one axis, sensation along the other. Like Tic-Tac-Toe for perverts. Of course the layout and organization of this chart very much appealed to me. (It’s not like I chose “The Control Enthusiast” for no reason.) I immediately started to look at where I sat in those nine boxes, and where the transition points lie for me. Who I could see shifting between those points with. Certainly thought-provoking, to say the least. She referenced the article I’d found through boingboing and posted here – the previous post to this one, in fact.
And, actually, speaking of thought provoking… There was one moment in the afternoon when, while talking about sadism, Midori started to do this… thing… with her tongue that pulled me right out of the lecture and sent my mind adrift for a while. I got back eventually but damn. Damn.
I’m very glad I went. Thanks to Morpheous for arranging it, Northbound for hosting it and Midori for giving it. For myself, I think I enjoyed the lecture side of it more than the get-down-and-tie side of it. Makes me look forward to Shibaricon this May even more. And very much makes me look forward to whenever I get to take part in Midori’s Rope Dojo. This year I couldn’t do both the Dojo & Shibaricon and Shibaricon won out. Next year, wherever the Dojo is happening, I’m going. No question.

*Licorice, as in the opposite (but not in the pejorative sense) of Vanilla.

Tags: Events, Rope by control
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The Science:

“Inflicting small amounts of physical pain, whether from scratching your skin vigorously or doing something more extreme, deactivates the parts of your brain associated with unpleasant or painful emotions.”

Tags: Uncategorized by control
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chat : love is not madness

Lana *at work*: “When love is not madness, it is not love.”
~Pedro Calderon de la Barca
at the moment: hm. I don’t buy it.
Lana *at work*: was curious as to your take on it.
Lana *at work*: someone had that up as a valentine quote.
at the moment: there’s a lot of literary & poetic hyperbole around love.
at the moment: that I think is actually sort of counterproductive.
at the moment: because it works as a sort of reverse programming
at the moment: it makes people feel that if they’re NOT crazybugshit over someone, it’s not love.
at the moment: and it could also make someone get to the point where they ARE crazybugshit over someone, to prove their love
at the moment: neither of which is a good thing.
at the moment: IMHO.
Lana *at work*: when is extremism ever a good thing?
at the moment: in situations where it’s genuine and warranted.

Tags: chat by control
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