Shibaricon
Oh, it’s been too too long since I’ve updated. So much has been happening, not the least of which was Shibaricon.
I am, right now, still in the midst of a bit of con drop. To step back out into this life, this particular way of interaction that had been put aside for four days of exploration and enjoyment and delicious sadism – to suddenly step back into this is unsettling. I found it very strange to be on the subway this morning, on my way to work – looking around at the people standing quietly around me and I thought, “No, this is wrong. This is not correct. Why is nobody in kimono? In kilt? In nothing? Where is the lovely girl at my feet? How can I not just reach out and caress someone?” This morning, I could smell hairspray, cheap newsprint, thick cologne and unwashed human underneath of it. I couldn’t smell hemp, or the leather, or pain-touched sweat. There were no cries two rooms over. No hiss of lines over skin. Certainly no laughter, no tears, no exclamations of surprise and delight.
I miss that.
Yet I find I am walking taller. Firmer. Centered and still. I feel at home in myself, and happy. And all of you, who were there, who shared with me, who might at this moment be reading this – I have you to thank in no small part for it.
