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Announcing TorontoGRUE 2008 – The GRUEat White North

So finally, it’s been sorted out. Thanks to Graydancer’s flexible schedule, a bit of a break in my workload, and the wonderful people at Goodhandy’s, the GRUE is at last coming to Toronto: Saturday October 4th, 2008.

Graydancer, a friend from down south, is a man of many titles: Podcaster, RopeSlut, Published Author, Burlesque Performer, Sex Blogger, Educator and fellow sukebe. The GRUE is an unconference that he has facilitated around the US, giving people of kink a chance to come together in a non-mediated way and discuss issues they themselves find important and compelling. He wrote about the first GRUE, held in his hometown of Madison, Wisconsin, and had this to say:

“The GRUE was held this last weekend near Madison, WI, and was an experiment in running a kink event. The acronym stands for “Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza” (why, yes, I did actually come up with the acronym before the words, why do you ask?). The key word was “Unconference”: this is a model of group organization that has been used extensively and successfully in the tech & social media circles, and is also involved with something called “Open Space”. I would suggest, if you’re really interested, looking up both subjects on wikipedia.

In brief, the idea is to have a conference that is self-organizing. In our case, about 30 people converged on a house with a well-equipped dungeon at 10am on Saturday. Announcing the theme of “What do you get out of Rope?” I pointed to a blank wall and said “There’s our agenda.” I suggested that the participants come up and write down some subject they were both passionate about and willing to talk about, and about 1/2 hour later we had 11 classes scheduled for the three rooms to do over the next seven hours…”

You can read the rest of the post here. As well as in Madison, the GRUE has also been held in Lansing, MI, Minneapolis, MN, and St. Louis, MO, and the techniques have been used to teach at events like Shibaricon, TES Fest, and the Spankfestival.

A bit of an explanation of the schedule, as vague as it is at the moment. On Friday the 3rd, we’ll host a Meet & Greet somewhere close to the venue, and give those who want to come out a chance to mix and mingle with the other participants of the event. 10am Saturday we’ll start the ToroGRUE at Goodhandy’s (120 Church Street), and ending the day at 6pm. Food will be provided at some point during the day, but we don’t actually stop for a break – the classes just continue. Participants will have a chance to grab some dinner, explore Toronto and take in some of Nuit Blanche, the giant art exhibition taking over much of the city that night, before coming back to celebrate at the monthly party thrown by Goodhandy’s and Northbound Leather. The admission for the party will be covered in the cost of the ToroGRUE. After the partying is over, there’s still more Nuit Blanche to explore – the exhibition continues until sunrise. Sunday we’ll arrange a pancake brunch for those interested in participating and continuing the discussion.

Tickets for the ToroGRUE are 40$ CDN, and are limited. Due to the size of the venue and the intimate nature of the Unconference, we are making 80 tickets available for the event. If you’re interested in taking part, email me at grue@thecontrolenthusiast.com with any questions about the event, or to reserve your tickets. 2 per person, first come first served. I will email you back with confirmation of your tickets. The actual form of payment still needs to be determined, but I’ll let everyone know once I’ve sorted that out.

Keep checking here for more information and updates about the Toronto GRUE. As details become clearer I’ll both post more on the site and email updates to those who’ve expressed interest in participating. I’m very excited to welcome Graydancer to Toronto, and facilitate what I hope will be the first of a series of events for the community on the whole.

(thanks to kk & a for the image)

My Kinky Weekend – a trip to Montreal for KinkyFestival 2008

Thursday: A decent if somewhat packed train ride – that many people riding to Montreal at 6:55am on a Thursday? – and I arrive a bit before one in the afternoon. I grab a cab to the Hotel de Paris (quaint = small), drop my stuff and wander over to the Fetiche Store where I grab a pass for M. and chat a bit with Isabeau. I do that thing that I do where I volunteer my services as a technician/organizer. I get taken up on it – as I always do – and head back to the hotel. A bit of a snooze, a post-train shower and I’m wandering over to the JPR complex for the opening party. Very low-key. I step away from the staff & media part of it to get some food in me (the train bagel isn’t enough) and return in time for the event to pick up a bit. The core people are there, and I meet the ones I’ll be working around for the next few days. I end up chatting with a photographer named Tim and a lovely woman in a tight white latex dress out on the terrace while she smokes and they dish about the professional fet scene. I listen, smile and nod, pose for a photograph with the woman – who I later discover is Kumi – then wander back inside the venue to say my goodbyes to Isabeau and Seb. Get back to the hotel in time for M’s arrival.

Friday: Sleeping in (very needed) and then I head over to the venue for 1:30 to help Seb set up for the party that night. I’m doing various forms of tech load-in between 1:30 and 9:30-ish. I meet Eric from Gargoyle Toes during the afternoon (immediately recognizable from both his self-branded t-shirt and his Rope Dojo bag). Seb introduces us, we chat a bit and make plans to chat & hopefully tie more later. Head back to the hotel, clean up & pack rope & head back to the venue. A lot of great looking people in a very dark room – darker than I thought it would be, for tying. We mostly stand and watch – there’s more than enough to watch. Later in the evening I see someone putting a suspension ring up hanging from the balcony railing. M and I drift over to see what’s what. Guy sets the ring, sets out a bit of his rope, and waits. M goes to the bathroom and I start up a conversation with him, asking him where he got the ring (a friend who makes suspension rings, ass hooks… yes, the stuff that Monk sells) and that’s when I realize this is Lew Rubens, one of the people I was looking forward to meeting while I was here. We chat some more then he looks around for V, to suspend her. We can’t find her, but M is interested in getting strung up, so I get to watch Lew suspend my date for the weekend. Which was not only very cool, but informative as well. I got a couple of ideas I want to try out now, following that. Gotta get me a suspension point. Things get a little dicey later on in the suspension when some drunk girl decides she wants to come over and play. Lew steps back and lets her, figuring we KNOW her. Of course we don’t. And once we all realize she’s just come out of nowhere and has no real conception of protocol, Lew steps in and removes her, basically, from the scene. Not in a jerky way, but in a very calm and – more importantly, for me – a very protective way. The way he dealt with her, both being firm but not antagonistic once he realized she was as drunk as she was and not really listening to what he was saying, made me really appreciate his energy. A good guy, a very good guy.

Saturday: Late sleep in (a bit of a theme), headed to Cafe Veritas for lunch & good coffee, then back over to the JPR complex to check out the expo and maybe catch a workshop. Got there too late for any of the workshops (times mixed up a bit, plus just leisurely walking) but had a good rope geek session with Eric. Did a quick version of the corset tie on someone – once again crediting Leon for the idea – and picked up a couple more things to look for when restraining someone with that kind of tie. M actually recorded the tie on her phone; I’ll post the video on here when I get it and figure out how. Dinner out at Reservoir (so good) then back to the hotel, dress up a bit & off to the main party that night. Way more people, far more active, a wonderfully dressed space and a great & happy crowd. Got to see Midori perform with Kumi. Almost got a hug from Midori in the crowd afterwards, but her hands were covered in sumi ink, so that wasn’t really that good of an idea. A gorgeous performance, though. After that, down in the VIP area, chatted with V for a bit (one of the organizers) and then once again watched Lew suspend another woman. A very active suspension, with LOTS of room for her to be playing. Looked like fun. Again a bit of a dark room to do it in, but it worked. I saw the ring there and was tempted to put M up myself, but it felt a bit strange, following the great tie from Lew. So, I passed. We were there until about 3, passed on the afterparty.

Sunday: M tells me she was woken up at 8:30 in the morning by the sounds of sex and spanking in the room beside us. I was a bit upset she didn’t try to wake me up for that. Later on we got up for real, headed down to the Village and ate a late lunch/brunch at a Cora’s. Damn big & damn fine eggs and such. A LOT more wandering, that day. We wound up in Mont Royal park, walking around huge drum circles, capoeira dancing, juggling, tightrope walking, crazy bike tricks, picnics and skateboards and guitar playing… that kind of park insanity. Attractive and yet overwhelming, for me. I was thinking of the other people in my life who would appreciate this environment as much as M was. I liked it, but I could feel myself rapidly approaching a wall I was gonna hit. Ended up watching a bunch of people in homemade armour & foam weapons beat the hell out of each other repeatedly for a while. The amount of time and attention that went into the armour and weapons was pretty amazing, in some cases. Pics to follow. That led us to a good hour and a half hike through the park, up and down a mountain and through the forest. More work than I was expecting that day, but not unwelcome and actually sort of fun to be pushing myself like that. Walked back to the hotel to get cleaned up and check out the closing party. Which nobody was at. I think everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – was burned out from the previous three nights. Understandably so. An okay dinner on Prince Arthur, walked back to the hotel after which M went for an exploratory wander through Montreal and I packed while chatting with Midori online about her performance of the night before, and house centipedes. All the while we’re chatting I’m not realizing she’s actually two floors down from me. By the time that’s clear, she’s crashing and M is on her way back. I finish my packing just before M shows up and we crash. Eventually.

Monday: Up and out of the hotel by noon. Two missed lunch dates, a wander around the city and a last get-together with Isabeau at the train station to talk about the event and how it might change for next year. I’m looking forward to doing it again, for sure. A more relaxed train ride home… and I’m back in the world and it’s a bit strange. Not as intense as post-Shibaricon, but still – I feel the same kind of off-kilter. I wonder when it’ll pass.

No Honour I recognize.

From Midori, the horrible story of a young gay man shot to death in Turkey.

From the article:

“In a corner of Istanbul today, the man who might be described as Turkey’s gay poster boy will be buried – a victim, his friends believe, of the country’s deepening friction between an increasingly liberal society and its entrenched conservative traditions.

Ahmet Yildiz, 26, a physics student who represented his country at an international gay gathering in San Francisco last year, was shot leaving a cafe near the Bosphorus strait this week. Fatally wounded, the student tried to flee the attackers in his car, but lost control, crashed at the side of the road and died shortly afterwards in hospital. His friends believe Mr Yildiz was the victim of the country’s first gay honour killing.

“He fell victim to a war between old mentalities and growing civil liberties,” says Sedef Cakmak, a friend and a member of the gay rights lobby group Lambda. “I feel helpless: we are trying to raise awareness of gay rights in this country, but the more visible we become, the more we open ourselves up to this sort of attack.”"

Here’s a link to the full article.

I cannot even begin to understand this. Heartbreaking and maddening.

It’s what’s at hand.

A quiet night in, and suddenly I found myself in the tyin’ mood – but nobody was around. So, I improvised.

About halfway through the second piece of rope I started thinking about how I would design a training dummy for rope bondage. Make it out of wood, basically just a torso-shape and two limbs (columns) that could be repositioned on the torso.  Each limb would have one joint. I’d probably end up putting it on a stand like a sewing dummy.

If I had something like that around, I wouldn’t have to use my seventeen-year-old drawing table stool.

Anybody done anything like this, but with mannequins or similar? I’m curious…

two feet

two feet

A rear-view close-up of my first suspension, from the same shoot as below.

(thanks to kk and a for the pic)