The Control Enthusiast

I’ve been holding off on posting about this, not wanting to jump the gun. It’s been in the works for a while, and is something I’ve wanted to do for some time. Today, finally, everything was secured, and so :

Sunday, April 26, 2-4 pm, Northbound Leather, 586 Yonge Street

$30 per ticket, pre-registration only

Click Here to Purchase Tickets

Most of the information on BDSM focuses on the skills that tops need, but what about the tools that will help you be the best submissive you can be? Madison Young, author, bondage model, porn star & director, will help you find the tools you need! You’ll learn how to process pain and strong sensations, ways to take care of yourself physically and emotionally while in service to your dominant, visualizations and vocalizations that will help you ride the energy of the scene, tips for connecting with your top, and more. Madison will also give you a list of resources for future exploration and discuss the role of a zen submissive in the BDSM community. Come find out how strong a submissive can be from someone who knows! Please wear comfortable clothes that you can move in. This workshop is recommended for dominants, submissives and switches of any gender. For more information about Madison, please visit www.madisonbound.com.

Madison Young comes to Toronto for the first time, brought to you by Northbound Leather, Good For Her and TheControlEnthusiast.com.

Tags: D/s, Events, Images, Research, Rope, theorosexual by control
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About four years ago, when I first started exploring non-monogamy, I was directed towards the now-famous book “The Ethical Slut”, written by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (who was writing under the name Catherine Liszt). After devouring it in one sitting, it changed the way I thought about love and relationships, honesty and communication. Since that time, I’ve ended up recommending it or loaning my copy to many of my friends who have approached me with questions about opening up their relationships. I’ve re-purchased the book three times, as I’ve given away older copies to people who I think needed it more than I, at the time.

After finishing Tristan Taormino’s “Opening Up” tonight, I have a feeling the copy of “The Ethical Slut” that’s sitting on my bookshelf will be the last one I’ll have to purchase. “Opening Up” has become my new resource, and I cannot wait to hand it off to the first lucky person who asks me where they should look for more information & clarity about non-monogamy. I have a feeling this is a book that’s going to be in very high rotation.

“Opening Up” explores the multiple forms non-monogamy can take, with a clear and concise outline of each form pulling from actual interviews of practitioners of each style. From partnered non-monogamy to polyamoury to swinging, and even including such difficult to discuss dynamics as mono/poly relationships (where one partner is polyamorous and the other is monogamous) and BDSM power-based relationships, the information she gives out is easily accessible and immediately helpful to anyone trying to find out where, in fact, they fit in this often muddy non-monogamy spectrum. Information on safer sex practices, dealing with children, connecting with communities of support, legal ramifications of being out in a multi-parent or partnered relationship, managing jealousy – Tristan covers it all.

This is a book I would be happy to give to my urban-dwelling sex geeks; Tristan writes in a voice that is recognizable and welcoming to anyone whose idea of non-monogamy doesn’t involve the word “commune”. It obviously owes a lot to The Ethical Slut – as we all do, really – but takes the concepts and philosophies found there and introduces them to a new audience looking for a different way in to the exploration of themselves and all the different ways they can love. For any statistician sex-geeks out there (and I know at least one…maybe two…) Tristan supplies a breakdown of her interviewees responses in an appendix, not to mention a very thorough bibliography and online resource guide.

This is the book I can see playing a very important part in helping people redefine the meaning of relationships in the future.

Tags: Books, Research, theorosexual by control
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I was emailed about this today, with the main headline being, “Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis!”

From the email:

“Statements currently within the DSM Paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific
evidence therefore NCSF must conclude that the interpretation of the Paraphilias
criteria has been politically  – not scientifically – based. This politically motivated
interpretation subjects BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias,
discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis.

Petition:
“We, the undersigned, support the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) own
goal of making its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) a scientific document, based
on empirical research and devoid of cultural bias. A diagnosis of a mental disorder can
have a severe adverse impact on employment opportunities, child custody determinations,
an individual’s well-being, and other areas of functioning. Therefore we urge the APA
to remove all diagnoses that are not based upon peer-reviewed, empirical research,
demonstrating distress or dysfunction, from the DSM. The APA specifically should not
promote current social norms or values as a basis for clinical judgments.”

To sign, go to:  www.thepetitionsite.com/1/DSMrevisionpetition
(You can make your signature anonymous on this secure petition site so it doesn’t
appear on the Internet)”

This is a link to the NCSF’s White Paper on the DSM Revision – very worth a read. And here’s a link to the NCSF’s blog about the DSM Revision movement.  I often doubt the strength and influence of an online petition, but I can’t NOT sign this. And, frankly, if you’re a reader of this site, you can’t afford to not sign it either.

Tags: Research, Rights, theorosexual by control
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This has been proved to me to be true. Anyone else?

Tags: Research by control
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