The Control Enthusiast

No, not in Toronto – at least, not yet. I am thinking about bringing Graydancer back up here, sometime in the autumn and holding the second annual (?) ToroGRUE. I can only imagine, based on the number of people who wanted to but couldn’t make it out the last time, that we’d have more than enough interest to make it worthwhile. I know there’s things I’d like to cover in a GRUE that I wasn’t able to get into last time (oh, the trials of the organizationally-minded…) and while it would be fun, I won’t be able to make it* to St. Louis at the end of June for the GRUE In The Lou 2.
The GRUE: Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza. Gray writes a bit about the history of the GRUE and the upcoming incarnation in St. Louis here, on BestSexBloggers.com. There’s a link at the bottom of that post to an earlier post on “The Care and Feeding of a GRUE”, which gives a very clear idea of what to expect if and when you choose to attend this most unusual of experiences, the kinky unconference.
And you SHOULD attend. Yes, I’m biased, but I still believe the unconference model leaves the participants with more actual takeaway than an strictly programmed and scheduled-to-the-minute traditional conference. At the GRUE, everyone is a listener, a speaker, a teacher and a student. Everyone participates. Everyone has a say in what gets covered; if you don’t see a topic you want to hear more about stuck on that wall at the beginning of the day, you damn well get up, grab a piece of paper & a Sharpie and you stick it up there yourself. It doesn’t take long to realize that, no, you’re not the only person who’s interested in that very thing. And that’s a good feeling.
There’s more information about the GRUE In The Lou 2 on FetLife. If you’re in the St. Louis area, go. Spend the 25 bucks, book the day off and engage.

* I won’t be able to make it because I’m flying to Berlin on that day. A fair tradeoff, I’d say.

Tags: D/s, Events, GRUE, Images, Rights by control
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This article from momlogic.com brings the conversation about kink as a mental disorder into more of the mainstream. What I find important about the article is in this line:

“Why is this so important? If you meet the criteria for a DSM-approved disorder, it could affect you at the workplace — and even in child custody agreements.”

To me this is one of the key things preventing People of Kink from coming out as such. I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, as the ToroGRUE develops, and as I think about planning other such events, and making TheControlEnthusiast.com into a bigger part of my life – in a professional way. Do I want to keep operating under a pseudonym? Statements like the above sort of prove that it is, at least for the moment, a lot safer.

Tags: GRUE, Press, Rights, theorosexual by control
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Another article from The Independent Online, this time written by author Howard Jacobson. It’s an interesting contrast with the previously posted article by Westwood the photographer. Ideas and concepts are explored in a much more in-depth way by Jacobsen. Again, certain lines leap out at me as being a bit off the mark, but it’s still a compelling read.

From the article (click for the complete text):

“”In the end,” the great French philosopher of eroticism Georges Bataille wrote, “we resolutely desire that which imperils our life.” Not accidentally, not half-heartedly, but resolutely. I do not say we want to die (though on occasions we think we do) but we want sex to take us as close to death as life allows, the paradox being – and this is a paradox which most sexual perversions celebrate, whereas love, sweet love does not – that we are never more alive than when we are staring into loss……….”

Tags: Pornography, Press, Rights, theorosexual by control
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The title of this post is the last line of an article I found in The Independent Online, written by photographer Ben Westwood and in reference to a law being brought in, under the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act in Britain. I find some of the thoughts & arguments a bit simplistic in parts, but truthful enough in sentiment. Click on the excerpt below for the full article.

“Bondage is a game that experiments with control. Dominance deals with having everything under your own direction while you do all the work. Submission deals with having no responsibilities at all you just lie back and submit. These are both good things to know in life generally. You learn to take full responsibility when you act, and you learn when and how to let someone else take the lead (sometimes literally) when they have something to show, or know better, or are simply willing to do the work. Similarly, the dressing-up fetish can be about sophistication and about the knowledge of one’s own sexual body. Where is the crime in that?”

Tags: Press, Rights, theorosexual by control
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I was emailed about this today, with the main headline being, “Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis!”

From the email:

“Statements currently within the DSM Paraphilias criteria are contradicted by scientific
evidence therefore NCSF must conclude that the interpretation of the Paraphilias
criteria has been politically  – not scientifically – based. This politically motivated
interpretation subjects BDSM practitioners, fetishists and cross-dressers to bias,
discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis.

Petition:
“We, the undersigned, support the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) own
goal of making its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) a scientific document, based
on empirical research and devoid of cultural bias. A diagnosis of a mental disorder can
have a severe adverse impact on employment opportunities, child custody determinations,
an individual’s well-being, and other areas of functioning. Therefore we urge the APA
to remove all diagnoses that are not based upon peer-reviewed, empirical research,
demonstrating distress or dysfunction, from the DSM. The APA specifically should not
promote current social norms or values as a basis for clinical judgments.”

To sign, go to:  www.thepetitionsite.com/1/DSMrevisionpetition
(You can make your signature anonymous on this secure petition site so it doesn’t
appear on the Internet)”

This is a link to the NCSF’s White Paper on the DSM Revision – very worth a read. And here’s a link to the NCSF’s blog about the DSM Revision movement.  I often doubt the strength and influence of an online petition, but I can’t NOT sign this. And, frankly, if you’re a reader of this site, you can’t afford to not sign it either.

Tags: Research, Rights, theorosexual by control
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